Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me

When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender

Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king

timothy (lee), CPS 6/2, 1G07 2G08 3K09
psalms 27:4
God, Bball, Future MNC, Music, YPM, Friends, Family, Anger and Ego Management, Mugger Association Elected President, Dreams to parkour properly with yu siang, fall for sitong again, poke WC, get killed by ZH, win interclass, make a proper pass to JZ, reconcile with C...

-7:51 AM

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody going to save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong!

IDMI rocks la
Even though its chor
And then stay at Jurong East ask for survey everyone see Mancini like Humphrey bear go to him
I give out all say 'I'm bz'
Then we go Jurong East tank stuff until 8pm
During lunch and work,
We talked abt everything in DHS
from the ***** who ****ed in the toilet
To the attention-seeker

Other than IDMI
This day quite LJ
I suddenly know and understand so many things
But knwo that I know
I'm getting killed by it
How do I explain
I need you
You don't take it as heavily
----- needs me
And I fking don't care abt it
Wth am I
Wth is this fking life
Wth Wth Wth
copy from Sylvester
When all things go wrong I call it WTH
When it goes right I dun fking care
My name is 'sht'


It's not that I dun wanna say!
I DUNNO HOW TO SAY IT IM STUCK IN THIS SHT WHICH CANT BE SAID
Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody going to save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on
Tell me what's going on
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong!

Maybe I'm the only one going crazy.


-6:03 AM

I am the fault
I am the blame
It was never yours to take so pls dun take it for goodness sake
I have learnt how to cope with the pain
So don't worry
I am numb to it already. Immune.

I believed
Never said i forgot

But the only problem is
I'm the one drifting
Not you.

Edit: Dedicated to Terrence
Shen me niao
Walking on my way back suddenly see Terrence trying his best to get into his own house
What happened?
He was apparently locked out
Family was out.
So, he got a mop and a bamboo pole, opened the door,
Opened the cupboard to the keys
And got himself in
SC Tensai


-12:37 AM

Electives day 3 : Script Writing Elective
According to wc, its a funny day
According to sitong, its just any other day
According to geo, this is he week of gl-ness
According to me
Its a mix of both sitong and wc's day la.

Script Writing was srsly screwed and sian-ed
But nvm
After Script writing, we went towards the bball court for a game of bball
Then, the 'funny' thing according to wc happened
Sitong walked past his love iris
Then he walked past thankyou, his previous crush
Then he walked past CCP, his previous previous crush
And guess what?
Every time he walked past them
He would decide to rank them in his list.
ROFLMAO

Then, we went to the bball curt to play bball (obviously la)
Then playing halfway ABC
I took the lead and lost it after so much effort
Cos I AIR-ed o.o
Then Sitong kept his place in the first few steps, didnt move much hais
Then wc missed like siao
But
As usual, he got back his gl form
And shot like siao into the 3 pointer part
Then His trademark AIR. So, we ended the game
Haha, the game was not completed but yay, I was nearest to goal, So seh sia
Oh ya, forgot to talk abt geo
Quote of the day by sitong : 'Can you get lost? You might as well stop playing'
Geo stayed at the starting point for the whole of the game
GLGLGLGLGLGLGLGLGLGL AHHAHAHAHAHAHA ROFLMAO
Stated by WC:
'Geo's trademark is apparently his ability to not win a single game he plays'
Agreed.
ROFLMAOROFLMAO
Oh also, forget to say the guiness world record geo saying:
'你们三个人给我滚开，let me one man show can already'
DAMMIT DEN ME WC AND SITONG LAUGH UNTIL FALL ON THE FLOOR
EVEN GEO START LAUGHING AT HIS OWN NONSENSE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So we went home
On the mrt,
Sitong gl-ness showed up
We walked past jiaqi
And apparently according to wc
She looked at wc for a second then turned and stared at sitong and said 'hihi'
Sitong waved back to her
In the cabin on the way back
Sitong made a quote-of-the-day-nominee remark:
'I can go date 3 girls at one time in 1 day.
Morning, I ask Number 1 to eat breakfast with me. Then we will catch a movie
In the afternoon I will ask number 2 to eat lunch with me. Then go catch another movie
In the night, I will ask number 3 to eat a romantic dinner with me.'

WC and I smirk and wc says: 'One sentence for you. Sitong thinks too highly of himself'
I say '2 words for you. Dream on'
HAHA

In Kembangan Cheers
WC said that he looks like Akagi
Then I said
Tamade
You don't look abit like that gorilla
Then I said
Who do I look like
In Slam Dunk
Maybe abit like Fujima

Then in cheers we talked about Miyagi
Then wc says:
Come to think of it,
You can be miyagi,
he's short for a bball player
And he has darker skin tone'

Then I was saying, ya I like Sakuragi but ya horh, can be Miyagi
But imagine next time
In sec 4 scarly I like him 168cm nia
Shen me niao
Then wc say
'Its okay what. At least can show off.'
Then I said:
'Ya horh, next time when ppl ask, aye tim, why u sec 4 alr still 168 cm nia? I would reply, aye, you dun say me leh, i damn cool sia, I am Miyagi leh.' Then I did a weird dance for wc
Then we both laughed until siao
I think we could cry of laughter
Today was fun, siao, and not the least emo
Now im gonna play with wc

Yay, I owe you a letter 2mr-

It was only a few minutes
I came down so late abt 7.46
I saw u in class
That look you gave left me starstruck
I heard what you said about me
'He changed alot in 1 month!'
I remember in 2007 you said
'I am pissed with him, but he would change'
I dun talk to u in class much
But just so you know
I take everything you say to heart


-8:25 AM

Random post requested bu Ruowei
(Rmb, previous post still more urgent and impt)

To wrap up the funny things in CEPP today
When the guy talked abt CEPP
I could see WC thinking hard
He said : 'If geo suddenly collapses and needs CPR,'
Then he turns and looks at geo squezzing his on cute face
'I think i'll just let him die'
Sitong says ' Haha, yes me too'
I say : ' I won't even be there.'

Then later during CPR demo where jamie and woon ping had a nice time tgt
WC suddenly turned and looked at geo.
Geo asks: 'WC u hornayyyyy ah'
Wc: 'Fk sia, not when I'm looking at you la!'
Sitong : 'Geo thinks to highly fo himself'
ROFLMAO

Then after CEPP everyone updates
Then see richard's blog fking funny
ROFLMAO UNTIL CRY BUCKETS
'then right during the six hours of talks and wdv fuck they call it i was sitting beside a chiobu...i felt so nice xDxD ... hope liyee n lingling kno who i talking abt...my pig farm <3<3 hahahahaa.'
hahahahahaha
so bad
richard is dam gl
but dam dam funny
But i srsly dunno who u sat beside =/


-7:36 AM

Electives are okay so far
But CCA and bball are srsly the things that are super fun now
I dunno if I can hold on to logging into msn for much longer
with the siao amnt of work
etc etc
Stress

Hais
Im now thinking back
Now I'm back to the past, the distant past -
It's a 'thru-it-all' concept
From sec 1 till now
Through pictures, videos, opinions
I have changed
We have all changed
Gemma was there and will always be there =D
Then I rmb so many of u in gemma
No matter how gl i was
my attitude problem
my gl face
etc
There were ppl who stuck thru it all with me
Never gave up in me
Believed that I would change (No not only my frens)
And must I realise it only now
Now when I feel like I need someone else not from gemma so badly
And I mus realise
That some of you were always there
But I was never there to appreciate it.

I rlly am sry
For this sht
For those empty promises
For those lies
But yah,
Everything starts with a feeling
If it grows stronger
If...
Maybe b4 gemma disbands at EOY
Maybe sth will happen =/

Why
Cos it feels like everything's drifting apart
And it's giving me space to think
Think and think and think
Thinking harder-


-7:09 AM

It's 2mr
It's 2mr
We're going back to sch 2mr! I was waiting
But then I realised
There will be less msn
Less of you
But well, maybe it really ends tonight
Dunno
It seems that
I have become more of a good friend
It's okay
Hais
Maybe I'm numb to the pain
Yeah still like you
Nah, guess you know that alr
Forever!
IhopeI'lllikeyouforevercosyou'remyforever

FOR GEMMA
I will not emo le~
This is jus something for Gemma
Not the dedication thingy
JUst a little sth
(Adding some other ppl I met in lvl camp and in msn)

Ada - red rocks, dunno if spiky rlly rocks=/
Geraldine - I still like doing Science Eco project with you =D
Ling Rong - haha talk to u on wp's msn
xinxin - Lol, sry for calculator thingy
pinky - what happened to ur blog for awhile o.0
ruowei - <3 4+1 haha
jamie - standup comedian makes me feel high xD
Kristin - saw u in guides jihe
weilin - write script dam pro
xinyan - chinese rep chui me for work, wont happen le
yidan - lol hi yidan
luorong - to our chinese blog!
lingling - let us pray that holland and germany meet in Euro 2008 Finals!
Natalie - thanks for telling me that electives was from mon to thurs
jaslyn - been tru so much in this month, haha =D
samantha - thanks for being the first girl to like cs with me
yiru - science rep, very patient and understanding; thanks for waiting for me in science practical wksht handing ups
sherly - also saw u in gg jihe
liyee - LA expert grp discussion could have been better! Nice doin with y'all
vivienne - ye, learnt more abt and with u thru lvl camp
wenjing - shhh u so quiet leh
xiamei - drawing tian cai (tensai)
jiayi - inner beauty rocks, ur gpa rocks like it
zhiyi - mario persona most cool sia
wp - goofy dog thinks he's fat and is now jogging like me n sitong plus carrying weights
weichia - this fucker made me live everyday of my hols like sht, made me miss sch, made me miss him and all my frens, made me like u more, but tgt with sitong, he's my BFF.
richard - dota cs yayayayayyy hamachi, meet at lan, i wan to see u pown again
sitong - a guy who made me cry for him, miss his face, like his humility, he and wc made life in hols so bad and toturous, and piano rox bcos of this kia.
geoffrey - why u cut ur hair dammit, jihes wouldnt have been great without you =D
fabian - why u dao me? why u disappeared? but ur my BFF forever too =D
mancini - why u gone like the wind; i tot can c u fro m all angles
ernest - dammit cool kia looks abit like the D and also plays cabal; loves star wars, i oso like abit
dillon - Macs, wished I had met u in my M'sai trip, we were just 100km away T.T
Daniel - miss this domineering SC, without him, gemma wouldnt be disciplined and enthu
xu ning - gl kia, reading comic forever, miss him sia

The ppl who I've me ton msn, I'll miss y'all to
Now I hope we'll bring our relationship to a higher lvl
In reality.


-6:54 AM

Haha
Remember yesterday
'Hahahah, continue being strucked'
'Is bjngqtxnd me?'
Lol
Looking at everything you said
I told u I would sleep
But I guess
It were your words that kept me awake till 3.16am

Scouts today was fun lah
Srsly
At first go there so sianzzzzzz
We got pumped 30 for being late
And again, only me and geoffrey there and 2 cute sec 1s then apparently they cant do push-ups well =/
Then had tuan bu stock check
Easy like siao
Then jia hui insisted on an extra patrol stock check
So ppl go play bball
Then we chiong for 1h 30min
Finished and bball time~~~~

Yes, wc; watching slam dunk rocks
At first when I first touched the ball
I thought could be damn pro
Lol arrogance sucks
So I challenged Geoffrey dan tiao
and I lost 10-1
WTH LA
So we played against ventures
and lost only 7-6, 7-5 then 7-2
I scored 4 three-points in the game plus extra balls but no lay-ups =/

Geo's team (Terrence, Jun Kai, Geo and Daren) had a better score of 7-4, 7-5, 7-6
But still lost to ventures
Haha ventures dam pro
Especially Ching Siang and Jia Jun
Jia Jun is even shorter than me at his JC1, yet when kang rui, justin and yong sheng go mark him, he can still turn turn turn until he scores -.-

So after eveything
I play against geo again
Then
Unbelievably I want him 3-1, 3-2 and 5-1
Lol so shuang
Now I can't wait to play with crazy wc
Tall sitong
Runner fabian
Centre Pro Geo
Hais, other than piano
I srsly love bball


-5:55 AM

Today went to wp house with Sitong
Was fun
Slacked
Haha rmb when the tuition teacher came into the house
Thought we were cousins
Then she saw sitong at 178cm
Then she giggled and walked away
Lol

Why was I even ashamed?
Lol slap myself sia
They may laugh
They may mock me
But nothing will change my feelings

Hais
Few Days to sch
I've been waiting so long
Yet now have mixed feelings
Wth, I'm srsly siao
WC also nowadays dao
Only can talk to sitong
Thanks sitong, for keep talking to me, piano, jay etc.
Wp is also funnn

-Tolookforwardtosch (butnvrunderstand my condition)


-6:58 AM

I don't know
But I keep thinking it's me.
But I'm not sure alr.
Cos time and again
I thought it was me when i was dreaming
So I'm rlly very tired after all the multiple hits
I dunno if I can take another one

Today darryl suddenly kp
He said he'll kill me
But didn't
Got me shocked for 10 min
Now I'll kill him when I got the time

Hais.
Now it's work upon work upon work upon work
Projects upon projects upon projects upon projects
Obstacle after setback
Setback after obstacle
Can we retain this gpa?
Can we still jog everyday?


Whatever it is, I still like you all the same
I dunno how I'm going to tell you
Maybe my actions will show
Whether it changes for you or not
I'm here
Still the same.


-7:58 AM

We talk abt some weird stuff everyday
Ya
Like who was bh then now got rh
But nvm la
What you're telling me now is shocking
But not exactly bad

I hope you're okay
It will be fine
They won't kp or kill you in daylight
Yah you're frens will be there too
And others will be there too!
So if it is confirmed
And this whole thing is not a phoney
Relax
And you'll get over this very soon.

Giving you support!
Mentally
and also physically.


-8:29 AM

What if...

What if work was not so piled up?
Would life be better?
What if work was less depressing?
Would I be happier?

I just want to sleep now,
And never wake up again
Sleep
Sleep for eternity
Like wc said : 'sleeping beauty, sleep forever, wake up look like sht'

I want to close mye eyes
Count to ten, then start open them
To realise I'm in Jan 1 2007.
Then i can forge a better relationship with gemma
do more for gemma

Maybe I'll meet you.
If I liked you again
Maybe I'd decide to do more

But all this is sht impossible
I want to die
But for god I control it
But if u hate me
Kill me
No restrictions.


-7:23 AM

No time to blog la.
Blog blog blog.
It takes up 1-2 hrs of my time
Msn takes 3-4 hrs.
Gaming takes 1/2 hr
Doing everything else even more.

I am piling up on hmwk
And stress is definitely fking coming.
I hate it.
I hate stress
But it's the only thing that's pushing me forward.

Plus all the things in my head related to you.
I don't know what you're thinking, srsly.
I want to talk
But it's like,
When we talk its very no topic
It goes no where
U wan to hear stuff
I also want to know stuff

So lets just put everything aside,
chiong finish work
And think about it another day.

edit: I want you to know,
Yah I hate the pain I feel when you're around
But I still like you alot.
Whether you have ever treated me as anything.


-5:59 AM

Just came back from M'sia (Malacca), from hols only 3day 2 night. But I can guess it was quite fun after all.



-5:58 AM

She keeps the secrets in her eyes
She wraps the truth inside her lies
Just when I can't take what she's done to me
She comes to me
And leads me back to paradise

She's so hard to hold
But I can't let go
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

Maybe I'd fight it if I could
It hurts so bad, but feels so good
She opens up just like a rose to me
When she's close to me
Anything she asked me to, I would

It's out of control
But I can't let it go

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

When she looks at me
I get so weak
I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

Lol, i'm finally catching up on my work yayayayayayayyyyyyyy =D
Now i on par with wc le;
wonder how sitong is doing

Hope you all are doing well with your hmwk too!!!


-5:44 AM

Wah, finally a bloody class gathering for 6/2, but so few peeps turned up.

I walk to E!Hub, then I see the grp of gl kias there. Lol.
I walk to them, the only ang recognise. Hey Timo is here.
Then Sylvester and Basil keep saying, where? where? where?
I walk right in front of them then they just look at me like some gl kia then Basil ask 'Who are you?'
Sylvester say where is Timothy
'I'm right in front of you lah fuckers'

Then the two gl kias go 'WTF YOU ARE TIMO'
'WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, DUN FAKE'
I said 'siao.'

Then the girls say 'That's timo? Wwoah!'
Then they force me to drink one bottle of liang teh bcos I was late
It tasted like pee(not wc's pee)

Then I noticed Jasper became pai kia
He dye a patch of his hair orange
Then wear contacts
Still kao pei ing
But he punch ppl like some sponge
Lol
Jk haha

So we went to some movie called 'Accuracy of Death'
Lol.

Then finish, we just walked arnd in circles in E!Hub until sian, then we saw Haqeem in ferris wheel
Say hi to everybody except for me
Then I say, wth, why nvr wave to me
He say
'Who are you sia'
'Timothy'
'oh, wtf, hi'

Then we exchanged middle fingers then lol we talked for quite a long time
Hais, today was quite fun at least I know alot of things liao
Abt ppl from other sch
How they're coping
So let me give a short analysis

Basil - go RI become sick, but still so friendly
Sylvester - was gay, will always be, VS
Haqeem - woah, now look like some suria superstar, ?
Jasper - Pai kia, pai kia, ?
Darryl - You become pai kia, but look like sht. =x (Dun spike ur hair fully), VS
Ryan - go VS still in wushu, now vioce deep like some gay
Nicole - you invite me come then see me in different form den dun dare talk to me -.-
Joanne - lol, haha you shorter than me liao; hahahahahahahahaha, Chung Cheng
Hui Shan - also shorter than me liao, hahahahahahahahaha, Cedar Girls
Joanna - You look exactly the same, sry,?
Huay Wen - still so introvert =x, Cedar Girls
Natalyn - Haha, I'm not in the same range as you liao, byebye (14.....something),?
Finally, sry for the ppl who didn't come, it was fun, rlly.

Ang, Darius, Alvin, Melissa, Hua Yow, Edenius, Berwin, Zheng Rong, Guo Xiang, Shaheedah, Isabelle, Song Yu etc.

Hope we'll have more of this gatherings in the future =D

I can't believe you crossed my mind even when I was having fun around my friends and ex-classmates


-3:08 AM

Perfect by nature, icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world That never was and never will be
Have you no shame, don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled.
Look here she comes now -
Bow down and stare in wonder.
Oh, how we love you
No flaws when you're
But now I know she -
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled.
Without the mask
Where will you hide?
Can't find yourself,
Lost in your lies
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled.
Never was and never will be
Not for real that you can save me
And somehow now you're everybody's fool

Lol wc,
You know
Everytime we go online and msn,
We only talk nonsense,
Guai Lan each other
Make a fool of everyone else
Make a joke of anything not possible to joke of.
People may say we're siao langs
Go msn only talk rot
But hey,
I love it alot. And I don't want it to stop =D

You saved me alot of sht
When I was emoing
You helped pull me up when I said I lost the fking battle
You gave hope when I was damn shtted
So now,
Why are you emoing;
Why has life become so hard?
I don't want my light to turn into an empty shell.
So pick it all up,
We'll take this route together.


-6:45 PM

Lol so bored. Now so early somemore.
Hey, jamie, I'm going to rip the 100qn thingy from your blog. Thanks =D
I going to watch kung fu panda with my cousin, his gay friend and my gay friend. Sylvester, if u don't come, den sure enuf I'm going to get my cousin's friend to **** u real hard at the backpart.

1. What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
A bloody gay, one of my primary school's best friends, his name is similar to the one you can find in the Looney Tunes Tweeety Bird and _____ cat show.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
Yes.

3. What happened at 10am today?
I'm blogging

4. When did you last cry?
A long, long time ago. I won't cry, at least for any period within this 5 years.

5. What is you favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
I don't eat peanut butter.

6. What do you want in your life right now?
GPA 4, and also that wc and sitong won't get it before me.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put on your hood?
I walk in the rain uncovered.

8. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
Myself.

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
Shorts.

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
I deleted everything else except for wc's gay-shit 'hahahaha, wh will suck your ****s'

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
I'm not in the mood to talk abt this kind of things now.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
CCA shirt borrowed from junior

13. What was the last movie you caught?
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL =D lol, next gonna be Kung Fu Panda

14. What are you proud of?
Proud of myself, proud for making myself look like a fool but be able to step up from it and say 'i quit'. Lol I also proud of my GPA, but dat bloody mugger wc beat me by 1% -.-

15. What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say?
'hahahaha, wh will suck your ****s'

16. What's was the last song you sang out loud?
Tell the World by hillsong united in my church youth service

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Lol, got alot fabricated by dat gay wc; but all the fags in my class call me tims -.-

18. What does your last received msg say? Who was it from?
Deleted.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
Lol, i couldn't sleep last night, so I assume around 2-3am estimately.

20. Are you currently happy?
Hard to say. But after movie, sure.

21. Who gives you best advice?
Parents.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
WTH? whipped cream from cans?!?! Anyway the last time I tasted whipped cream shuld be last year or what.

23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night?
Haha, Sylvester and my cousin Wilson (no not the ruowei one)

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Homework, losing wc by a little i guess

25. What/who was the last thing/person that made you laugh?
Hahaha, fking faggot wc and ruowei

26. Do you wear toe socks?
No.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Geoffrey

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
****ing gay shit

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Indecisiveness, too much gaying

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
No, at least not anymore.

31. Have you ever done cociane?
No, and your english sucks. It's cocaine.

32. What is the colour of your room?
blue. i wanna paint it another color

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billlion dollars?
No. Not in the mood to. And your english sucks damn badly its billion without the extra l. like as if will make it more worth it.

34. Do you believe in the saying "talk in cheap"?
Depends

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
Myself. WC, wanna come in? Lol jk.

36. Who was the last person who hugged you?
My sister, and its mutual sibling hug, so all the fkin fags out there pls dun kao pei.

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
I don't kiss ppl. So unromantic. But I do other sht things to replace it.

38. Do you have a life?
for 2 weeks, no. But I'm going to get my life back again; like what sitong always says : 'f*** u, get a life.'

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
Yes, but if I say that kia's name, i scared will stir up controversy and I end up jailed for it.

40. What's the reason behind your profile song?
No more profile song.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dreams?
Robert Downey Jr in his Iron Man suit

42. Last time you smiled?
Yesterday like 11.09 pm when wc and I talked about Crane Brothel. I logout 11.10pm

43. Have you changed this year?
Yes.

44. What are you listening to right now?
Seventeen ain't so sweet by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

45. Are you talking to someone while you're doing this?
Nope

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
OPEN LA. THEN HOW TO WALK? But I sometimes talk with my eyes closed.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Nope. Live for God.

48. Do you want someone you cant have?
No, that's a gay thing. I want fabian then he like disappear nowhere.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
-.- of course la. Then talk abt piano piano piano for what

50. What was the worst idea you had in the week?
I'm hell not saying.

51. What were you doing last night at 11pm?
Getting pissed off, getting cooled down by ruo, getting gayed and having fun with wc

52. Are you happy with your love life now?
No. Pissed and all the bloody gays are overseas. Lol, I don't even call it a love life. It's a homo life.

53. What song describes your love life?
I can't find one. All the fking love songs all abt happiness.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
Yes, and I'm stealing sitong away from iris.

55. Who always makes you laugh?
WC, Jamie, Sitong, Ruo,Fabian, Daniel and Ada(aiyo, you emo then how to make me happy le?)

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Chinese, little Malay, little French, little Jap (french learn from sitong, jap learn myself and frm my mom)

57. Are you blonde?
Asian blonde? No.

58. What's your middle name?
Don't have one.

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
Cousin's house to play Ninja Gaiden 2 =D

60. What do you think you are like?
A dumbass gay kia, but my GPA's higher than you =x

61. Who will you choose to die with?
I will die for myself, with myself and only myself. No friends must come with me, the ppl I detest will alsno come with me. Me and God. Period. (So, ruo stop saying omg o.o omg o.o omg o.o)

62. Where have you been today?
At home. Will go E!Hub later for movie =D

63. What game do you play often?
Gunzzzzzzzzzzzzz wc low lvl kia, i decided not to quit le hahahaha my pro comin back to k-style u

64. Who are you missing right now?
Gemma peeps, frens especially T.T

65. If you have to choose between friends and love, which will you choose?
Lol, If I'm older like 22+ den of cos love la, get someone like sitong or what. Now? Of course frens =D

66. What are you doing right now?
This quiz

67. Which primary school are you from?
I am letting out unnecessary information =x, you wanna know go ask ben, sylvester or joanne.

68. Name 3 colours that you like.
red, green (sry ruo, i nvr copy u, but srsly; my fav colors are these) and gold hahahah i copy wc

69. What emoticon do you like to show?
=D xD =x :) o.0 -.-

70. What is life to you?
Something which I must experience to understand what it is, something to cherish, yet something to forget at the very same time. But without life, would there be cherishing and forgetting?

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Emo, lol, but what's the use, I think I go play gunz.

72. Who did you last chat with in msn today?
Today boh, yest wc.

73. Who do you admire the most?
Sakuragi Hanamichi from Slam Dunk

74. Which month are you born in?
I won't say lol

75. How are you feeling right now?
Bored.

76. What is the time now?
11am

77. Where are you now?
My house, my room, my study table.

78. What colour did you use to dye your hair?
I won't ever dye my hair, unless it turns white and I'll dye it whiter.

79. Why are you doing this test?
Cos I'm bored and I need to kill time before I go for movie

80. What do you do when you're moody?
Emo as in listen to music, think abt sht, talk to myself, imagine myself talkin to frens, lol sounds a bit psychopathic so I think I'll stick to wc's old way of doing things.

81. At what age do you plan to get married?
Depends, definitely not younger than 20

82. Who is more important to you now? Boyfriend/friends?
Both.

83. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Some kia blew it.

84. Who is the person you trust most?
WC, cos his fkin lying habit is dying. Sitong too, since he is dam reliable, hais, actually all the gemma peeps dat I can confide in.

85. Will you love your crush/boyfriend forever?
I don't believe in forever anymore. My primary school crushes died. So anything in secondary school will definitely die too. At least, I think.

86. If you ever have a dream come true, what would it be?
Beat wc to becoming a billionaire, beat sitong and play 夜曲 faster than he can imagine

87. What is your goal for this yr?
High GPA!!!!!

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yes, me and my future wife, me and god, me and my fmaily memebers etc. But yet, unless its God, I doubt the word eternity.

89. What feeling do you love most?
Moderately guai lan

90. Do you really think its global warming now?
For sure.

91. What feeling do you hate the most?
Bored. Emo. Moody. Angry. Hateful. Hated. Too gayed. Too guai lan. Foolish.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
All except one, lol, i love my frens

93. Do you believe in god?
Of course! He is the one, the one and only, the only one that brings us peace.

94. Who cares for you the most?
My parents.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in life?
Family, friends and God. Okay GPA abit too.

96. What'll you bring to a fight?
Some son of a bitch who cusses at my family, friends or my God.

97. What have you regretted in your whole life?
half biaobai-ing, saying too much, getting sunk in some sht, now have to deperately pull myself out of it.

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
Time to play maple. Hermittttttt

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
Do wc's classic vulgar combo; point middle finger, say **** u b**** and walk away, never to come back ever again. Lol, no, of cos. I give her a chance to explain, since its a stead after all. If she rlly wants to go then let go, if she is just confused then.....lol vulgar combo. Jk. I dunno. I would need a love guru by then.

100! love with a gurantee of heartbreak, or never to be loved at all?
Never to be loved at all. I don't need a spark when I know it's dying. I don't need a light when I know it'll get extinguished. I live for myself. And I don't want myself to get hurt.

Whew, done liao, okay okay I go slack until movie time =D Meet wc in gunz later


-6:40 AM

Lol.
Weren't you waiting for this day?
Yep, I'm a fool.
Big time somemore.

Haha,
I wanna laugh at myself while I emo now
Cos emo = you
And since there's no more you,
There shall also be no more emo.

Lol, I kept giving myself hope
Hey don't give up, you still have this chance, lol.
This chance.
I don't want it anymore.
Anyway, this chance was not even there,
Just a bloody fragment of my imagination which runs wild whenever it sees you.
But it won't happen anymore.

Although I needed you so badly,
Somewhere inside me knew it wasn't even there
I was a fool
Yet I'm such an idiot shit-eater
I followed my blindness
And it let me to you.

I don't know why I said so much in front of you
I don't know why I thought I made you become so horrible
When I was actually paving the way for my own horrible ending.

You want me to say it all
But 'say what sht?'
Exactly. It's just shit
And shit it shall be, shit will never come out of this mouth of mine
Say what?
Say it just to comfort you while you think he's not there?

I'm there
But you were not there
He was there,
But you always suspected him
He talks
And it's like the world to you
I talk and it's like a knife in your gut

I'm like some dummy played by the two of you
Both my friends,
One close, one BFF
But I'm going to lose one
When you hurt me
You didn't care,
I didn't say
When I hurt you
You made it known to the world.
It is my turn.

I've got enough of all this things that made me played
I'm not your jester.
I will never, ever be.
i can't always be the one to cheer you up when he makes you angry.
I admit I used to be
But never, ever again.

You keep rapping,
He makes me angry, he makes me emo etc. etc.
But at the end of the day,
You come back to him.
I hurt you
And you take it as a damn thing.
Yes, from this moment, you may detst me, hate me, despise me and forget me.
But from this day on, you are not related to me.


-11:03 PM

You know
Now you made it so clear,
I think I'll just keep hurting myself
To the pint that I'm so numb
That I will just undo
Whatever I've said about you,
Did for you,
Though about you,
They shall all come back down to nothing.






HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
RUSSEL PETERS IS THE BEST STAND-UP COMEDIAN EVER!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAH
lol, jamie you should go fight him; cos yu're one great cheerup =D

Oh, next post is dedicated to wc


-12:11 AM

You whisper a prayer
You pray: 'Please let him be there'
But I don't appear
And there comes your very fear

Tears rolling down your face
You ask: 'Why am I in this place?'
How did I get here? (Woah)

You are my one and only
But I was too blinded to see
That you were always there for me
(You were always there for me)
You are my one and only
So please forgive me
My heart yearns for you solely
(Yes, it yearns for you solely)

Woah, woah

She was my everything
She made me so, so happy
She took my heart
But I failed to take hers back

Every little thing she did
I put the whole world into it
Every effort you had made
I didn't see much to it

You are my one and only
But I was too blinded to see
That you were always there for me
(You never left me)
You are my everything
So please forgive me
My heart yearns for you solely

Now I see
I really and finally see
I can see (woah)

You are my one and only
But I was too blinded to see
That you were always there for me
(Forever waiting)
You are the only one I need
So please accept me
My heart yearns for you solely
(Solely...)


-6:02 PM

You know;
Love is a losing and painful game.
I don't know if all my nonsense written in this blog has indirectly come face to face with you.
Lol maybe not; but
Yah, can't you see?
Happiness is the best revenge.
You even bothered to take it for yourself, right?
The only way you can get over it is to have happiness for yourself.
So, dun emo le,
Cos life is a long and winding road
It's not worth dying for anybody,
Cos if it happens at this age,
That guy is just a _____.

The process of it is going to be hard
Falling into it is hard by itself
Getting out of it is much more tedious and worse
Sometimes you feel that for that very day, you have finally lost that spark
Then the very next morning you wake up finding yourself thinking about that other person.
It's hard
But pull through it
I've rarely seen you emo till this year
But don't let it get over you.
Whether it was this or that
Or something I may not even know myself,

Stay cheerful!
Stay stronger than ever!
You have been a great friend to talk to on msn
So PLEASE
Don't even consider not signing in.
Lol, jk, I'm not forcing you but
Quoted from Ruowei: 'Over time, all these will pass, especially these kind of stuff.
haha (:
It happens always
But it comes and gos
So, dun emo! (:'
If I'm not wrong I got this all correct, including the smileys.

Haha.
So,
DUN EMO! (really)


-8:08 AM

Haha, so long nvr talk to you liao
You in china,
He in china,
He also in china.
You all go china haha.
At least you can go online, he can go online.
But the other he still hasn't.

I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder since I can't wait to talk to you guys in China,
wherever you are,
be it Shanghai, Beijing, Shenzhen, Changsha or anywhere else.
It's a pleasure, talking to you.
It's a pleasure, talking to him.
Lol. Really.

Ya, you dunneed to keep telling me dun be emo le
That was history ahha
Yeah, ia gree with you,
Everything passes over time
And I guess my time is running out,
Just like my emotions are.
I feel so much better not worrying
I feel much better being able to laugh at so many things again (like Sitong's pic lol)

WC thinks I'm a Sitong pic trading centre lol.

I just hope you're okay out there. Don't feel emo or sian just bcos u're stuck in a foreign island haha. Cya.


-7:11 AM

LTA exhibition was more than funny.
I went with Jaslyn, praying that she would surprisingly bring other ppl like Daniel, Luorong, WP or whoever.
But she didn't.
-.-
So only me and Jas go LTA, change dunno how many MRT.
Finally reach there.
Then the kind guy say what PLEASE BE PATIENT, WE'RE WAITING FOR ANOTHER GRP
So I was damn happy, Oh Yeah! DHS! Wooooooo
Then in came a grp of 6 adults. Wow.
Their ages range from 20-25.
So thus, I shall call them this:
Gay 1
Gay 2
Funny Woman 1
Funny Woman 2
Hermit Woman 1
Hermit Woman 2

So let's go on to the excellent tour.
First we went to what 'Journeys'.
I didn't know this whol tour unleashed the child in those adults. Not very funny.
Gay 1: why is this called journeys
Gay 2: u ask me i ask who. ask the guide
FW1: Haha
FW2: Haha
HW1: remains silent
HW2: Disappeared

We go on stupidly, and come to something called the 'challenge theatre'

Tim: Sht, can't see, Jas, lets go to the side, so not blocked
Jas: Haha. You can't see

The thing starts, I thought it would be some cool simulation technology where the seat will fly here and there, got sound effect etc. etc.
But reality: A seat, a remote at the side, two buttons on the remote. One red, one green.
We started off quite okay but then the adults started to get bored
Gay 1: Why the countdown so slow de? can make it faster?
Gay 2: This is meant to waste our time
FW1: haha
FW2: haha
HW1: remains silent
HW2: still hasn't appeared

So after a few rounds, the adults decided to choose all the wrong options. Shortly after, the Hermit woman 2 comes in quietly and sits in front of me -.-

Gay 1: Now so boring
Gay 2: HEY! I GOT IDEA! When they let us pick an option, why not we press both buttons at the same time, see what happen?
FW1: Haha, okay!
FW2: Laughs hysterically
HW1: giggles
HW2: diaos everyone and remains silent

I replied
Tim: Lol, after that jam the thing, then lta angry
Jas: Haha
Gay 1 n 2: Lol
FW 1, 2 and HW 1: Haha
HW2: Remains silent

The thing ended fast, I didn't know that it was 1 hr alr.
Lol. Quite fun la after all this happened.
Come to think of it, I may even consider following sitong again for a second trip.

WC and I had a good talk to day
Oh yeah, hope you liked the ppt
Lol we talked about fifas and ffas
How he's dying cos Merchant of Venice and LTA can't be found in his area in china
Lol,
It was srsly one of my greatest days today.


-7:42 PM

Hey Jaslyn
You sometimes spam me until my whole inbox got 50 plus msgs,
Then of all times yesterday night and today morn must dao me.
Not funny.
If I go city hall and you're not there by 1.15pm,
I'm going to desiao you.
Promise.


-6:48 AM

If I could, I would give half my life to you.
Stay strong, be healthy.


-5:18 AM

因为健忘，我遇上了你。也应为健忘，我也将离开你。
I don't know if yesterday was happier than today.
I want to sign in msn but everything's so tangled here that I can't.
I promise I'll come tomorrow,
And give you the thing. (Damn, don't think sick whether you're Sylvester or WC)

You know,
I dunno whether I'm feeling upset or disappointed right now.
You promised to come online no matter what the cost,
No matter what the effort you must make.
Whether it was just a 'hi' before you were abducted,
Whether it was a 1000 word conversation.
You promised.
In a foreign land,
You are enjoying.
At my residence,
I'm still waiting.


-5:11 AM

Sylvester got me on msn. Now the report is in our sharing folder. Haha.

I don't know why the link to my chinese blog is wrong since it's all not mine. I'll relink later.

You never knew.
You never knew how much I cared. Maybe that was what I would have said before.
But now you said you do.
So I'm speechless.
I'm guessing you really did care,
It may have happened.

I tried to froget you but yeah,
I guess each time I did,
I hurt you again and again.
You're right.
How many times could i have done it?
I can't even count.

I won't tell anyone.
Maybe only you and I know this.
I promise.
Have you ever thought that I never said anything about you?
Nothing of the vulgar sort.

You hate me now,
Maybe I'm just assuming.
But I'll tell you I deserve it.
So don't be kind to me.
If you'd want to,
Just tell me that you hate me.
I won't mind.

So,
Have a good will,
Get over this,
Cos' it's not worth remembering.
I know you may not even intend to forget me
But let me tell you something,
From the bottom of my heart,
I'm someone you shouldn't remember.
I'll hurt you.
Please,
just forget me before I emo again.


-11:22 PM

For you were just something I preferred to be so close
But was always so far.

I don't rlly have time to blog yet.
I've got a lot of things to say.
Later.
Oh, WC, reply my sms please. Si tong too, if possible.
Jas, thursday. Don't forget. At least 2 more people must go okay? Ask Daniel Tay to come.

You were always part of my memory.
Maybe not anymore.
Maybe because you decided to leave.
Maybe because you made things so confusing.
Maybe because so many people got involved,
So many implicated.
I don't want to make myself wait anymore.
You will be happy with ____.
I just realised I'll be happy with ___.

You are my memory.
And I'm just about to shatter it.


-7:43 AM

I dunno.
Im going to step into sleep soon.
What will 2moro bring?
I don't know.
I dun wanna say I dun care.
But yes, I'm gettin emo again.
I'll never forget.
Thanks.
It really brought a smile to my face.
And maybe more.
But I'm just a jerk la.
I think I'll look at it again and feel abit happier.

Ya la. Sylvester wants a full report on narnia. I'll give you one 2moro.

I'm bored lo. Gemma peeps, some of them also emo-ing.
They closed their blogs, disappeared or just write things which make me emo.
I know they have nth to do with me la.
But I'm just emo-ing. Bear with me ok?
I also realised that I haven't been to many ppl's blogs recently. I'll go there and tag if I can.

Read so many ppl blog.
I nvr knew there were so many sides to ppl.
Some put on a mask in sch.
Actually they're bleeding inside.
Here's a bandage. Put it on will you?
Bleed no further. Life's much more than what you think it is.
(Lol, imagine emo guy saying this to emo ppl)

I'm really reaching the lowest stage of emo le.
I really wanna go back to sch.
See every single Gemma persons face.
When sch reopens, I'm going to spend 15 min looking at everyone.
I miss everyone.
Really.
All of you.

Then fabain has the most touching post ever.
Yes you guys.
Come on msn can?
Stop slcking le.
I'll call u all first thing 2moro morning.
All the ppl who I can meet up with.
Fabian, Mario, WP.
Please answer.
I wanna do project and have casual meet-ups with u all.
Sitong and WC are gone for the time being.
So pull through this with me ok?

I end here. I think Im too tired le.


-4:56 AM

Now he's gone.
And be it two weeks, 1 month or forever,
he's gone.
And life will not be getting better at all.

I just watched prince caspian yesterday. narnia.
i must admit la.
i'm so emo dat every show now is 5 star.
every show is so meaningful and close to me.
every word they say strikes my very presence.
every show i watch on tv and youtube is affecting me.
yes, all the 'cheer ups' i get are all so temporary.
thanks, they helped.
but i'm sorry to say.
it was temporary. nothing will fill this emo ness la. unless its aiowbvjah.

Narnia was nice. I'm going to watch the 3rd. And I hope the 4 main characters (exclud. caspian)
will be there. but i know for sure that caspian will be in the next one. I hope I'll not be emo then. Then it will not be so close to me like Prince Caspian did. Indiana jones still lives in my mind. I'll nvr forget it. Iron Man too. Next movie is Hancock. It seems to be very exciting.

Things are getting back to normal.
Of course, I dont think I'll ever feel stable after I saw you again.
But, things are really settling.
It's a good sign.

At least we regained our convos again.
I won't mind anymore.
Even if your every thought is abt him
Even if your every word is abt him
Even if you live and die bcos of his presence
Know that I do not mind anymore.
I'm willing to listen.
You won't even realise I do really want to tell you
But it'll nvr happen.

Seeing someone you need so badly have happiness when ___ like someone else,
Is happiness by itself.

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